Published on December 31, 2021 By: Nicole A.
When we first found out we were pregnant, we were overwhelmed with so many emotions. I also felt so unprepared and didn’t know where to even start. We did not feel ready to have a baby, but we knew we wanted to get ready and that’s what we were going to do. Throughout the whole process, I felt like I’ve grown more than I thought I ever could, figuratively and literally. It helped me to get advice from others, but also learn things for myself, so I wanted to share some of the biggest things I learned early on in my pregnancy.
1.There is no need to compare yourself to others.
Everyone has a different experience. When I first became pregnant I honestly didn’t know what to expect. A lot of changes happen to our lives and our bodies and it can get hard to get through. When I started seeing stretch marks, or gaining more weight than I thought I would, I instantly thought well, why doesn’t anyone I know or see on social media have this? Or even, what am I doing wrong? Sometimes I would see pregnant women working out in the gym and it made me feel like I was being lazy or not doing enough by what I thought was “being active”. The truth is, different things work for different people, and some things that may or may not happen to some people may happen for you. At the end of the day, we all go through our own journey, have our own ups and downs, and can still learn and help each other. You are beautiful and strong in your own, unique way. I think one of the most important things is talking to your doctor, bringing up concerns, and figuring out what is right for you and your body.
2. Don’t be scared to ask questions.
To keep it going from my previous point, you will typically find that your check up appointments go by pretty fast, and they always ask, “Do you have any questions”? At first, I didn’t even know what kind of questions to be asking. As I got farther along, I felt like I would kind of just hear more things about pregnancy and babies when talking about it with others or reading about it. Once I heard something, if I had questions about it, I would ask my doctor. When I felt that it was important or urgent, I would take advantage of being able to message the office as well. I guess at first I was scared that some questions were stupid, but that is far from the truth, and asking made me feel better, more informed, and better prepared. What also helped me was doing research on parenting books and resources that I related to and that I thought would work for me and my family. Doing this made me feel like I was actively learning and getting ready for baby.
3. Listen to your body
Whether it’s eating, being active, resting, giving extra care to yourself, listen to what your body is telling you. If I felt drained and weak, I would let myself take a nap in the middle of the day and not feel bad about it. This may not be super easy if you already have children, or your schedule doesn’t allow for that extra time, but whenever you get the chance, take advantage, and try to make time. If I had extra energy, I would try to stay on my feet, walk around, get out the house. With eating, I could kind of feel when I needed a little bit more sugar, or needed to be eating something light. I gave into my cravings (to an extent) but allowed myself to enjoy those things that I was wanting. As long as it is safe, your doctor is okay with it, and it’s in moderation. One thing that I would change if I could go back, is to be a little more active to begin with, and balance rest and activity more equally.
4. Don’t let others allow you to feel bad or invalidated by your choices/wishes.
Some people may not be supportive of you and that is okay. Some people may not have the same choices of parenting as you do, and that’s okay too, as long as what you’re doing is safe and not harmful to you or your baby of course. A lot of people like to give you their opinion or advice that may not be in your best interest or even asked for. Most of the time, people are excited and just want to help, and I always took that information gratefully, but there are some people that may think you are wrong, or think that their way is the only way. The best thing I can say, is surround yourself with people who support you, listen to your doctor, and talk about things to your partner or someone you trust.
5. Allow yourself to enjoy some alone time.
Some of the moments I really enjoyed the most is being alone and just having some quiet time. Again, like my 3rd point, some of us may not have a lot of time to do this, but I think that it is really important to make the time for it. Not only is pregnancy a lot physically, but even more so mentally. Giving yourself time to do something you like or that relaxes you, gives you a chance to take a breath and be mindful and present in the moment.
6. It becomes overwhelming at times.
No matter your situation, on top of growing a human inside of us, life doesn’t stop and we still have work, relationships, school, and so many new things coming at us at once. Even with the amount of information we see and are given, it’s a lot to take in. All I can say is you’re not alone, and at times where you are feeling overwhelmed, try to either talk to someone you trust, spend some time alone, and prioritize your mental well-being. Also, don’t feel bad for being sad or having emotions other than happiness.
7. Take things day by day.
Some days may be good, and some days may not be so good. On those days that are not so good, it could be hard to get things done or even think about what comes in the future. One thing that has helped me feel productive and not put too much on my shoulders, is to just focus on the day as it is. Especially once it came to physically getting ready for baby, doing laundry, making sure we had the essentials. It feels like alot to do, so splitting it up really helped me to not feel like I had a never-ending list of things to finish.
8. Sometimes things may turn out how you didn’t expect them to.
I’m sure we all kind of have some expectation in our head of what pregnancy will be like. Then, when we get pregnant, everything could be completely different than what we thought. Even once we are pregnant, things happen and change, and we have to learn to adapt and work with these things. What I am saying is, it might be hard to find that things weren’t what you thought they’d be or you don’t have what you thought is the “perfect” pregnancy. Also, that things happen that are sometimes out of our control. I think this is one of the hardest things that comes with it.
I could go on about all the things I learned and share everything about my own journey, but I think the things that I mentioned here are some of the biggest things I learned, but definitely not the only things. Pregnancy is full of changes and emotion, and I feel like it’s something you can’t just fully prepare for. Once you go through it, you realize that no one could really tell you how it will be emotionally and physically. Just remember that you are not alone, and that you are strong and it will all be worth it in the end.
