By: Nicole A. Published on February 2, 2024

The moment your baby is placed into your arms for the first time, everything shifts. 

Your whole world becomes focused on ensuring that the baby is okay and holding this new life. At the same time, mama is going through major changes in her body, recovering, adapting to all these changes, going through so many different and unfamiliar feelings, running off of no sleep, and navigating other relationships and responsibilities, all while trying to nurture their little one. 

All these things, and more, don’t stop after that first week, not even after the first 6 weeks. Not even after that first year. 

A lot of the challenges that moms face, no one would even imagine they are going through. 

Nearly 1 in 7 moms will experience postpartum depression. 

Yet, many cases go undiagnosed and many moms face these challenges in silence. Postpartum general anxiety, postpartum depression, postpartum rage, and birth-related PTSD are just a few to name.

So.. the question is, why don’t moms ask for help? And, what can we do about it?

Reasons Why New Moms Don’t Reach Out For Help

Getting help is not as easy as it seems. 

We often hear the phrase, “If you are struggling, get help now”. But…how? From who? 

Talking about your mental health is not easy, which is a common reason why many people don’t get help, whether they are mothers or not. 

Some reasons new moms may not reach out for help can be for several different reasons such as:

Challenge of Opening Up & Having Someone They Trust

As much as you love the people close to you, it can be extremely hard to open up about things regarding your mental health. 

There may be fear of judgment or even just reservations about whether or not you should be open about sensitive subjects to the people around you. 

Possibly, you may not know who the “right” person is to talk to. Do you go to your partner, best friend, sibling, or mother? 

Sometimes, the thought of opening up and not being understood might seem scarier than facing the problem on your own. 

Stigma & Fear

Another big reason new moms don’t open up is because of this stigma surrounding mental health challenges and moms. 

If you look at social media, you will often see moms sharing the happiest moments of their lives with their kids, which there is nothing wrong with, I do it too. 

But many don’t talk about another side to it, and when moms experience these difficult feelings, they sometimes think that there is something wrong with them or that it is wrong to have these feelings. 

There is some misconception that if you are honest with the struggles you are facing, you will be seen as a “bad mom”. However, this is entirely not the case. 

The more people talk about these common challenges that new mothers often face, the more support and help they can get. 

And, the more that moms are reminded that they are human and that they are not alone.

Accessibility + lack of resources 

Some moms want help but lack accessibility to resources that can give them that support. 

They might not know where to even start because nobody has ever really helped them. 

Maybe it’s insurance, possibly a shortage of mental health professionals in their area, or not having transportation and help to get to appointments. 

And the truth is, everything is just expensive. Even getting care. 

Unfortunately, there can be roadblocks in getting the help you need. However, it is important to know there are a lot of programs and resources available to help moms and anyone facing challenges with their mental health. 

I’ll talk more about this below. 

Time & Money

Now, one of the most common reasons moms don’t seek help: they are overwhelmed with so much that they feel they have no time to even think about getting help for themselves. 

On top of that, the thought of paying for therapy or paying for childcare while you get help can make it feel like it’s not even an option. 

While it is known that moms have a FULL schedule, and it can be hard to find the energy to do things outside of being a mother, it is necessary to take time to care for yourself too.

That’s easier said than done, though. 

Where Can I Find Help? 

One of the biggest questions: Where and how do I get help? 

One of the first things to do is to remember that you’re not alone, despite how alone you may feel right now. 

Reaching out and talking to someone you trust can help you take that first step into getting professional support. However, sometimes we may not have a person we feel comfortable with. There are several different ways you can find support depending on your needs. 

Healthcare Provider

One way to find help is through your healthcare provider or insurance. 

You can set up an appointment to talk about it with your doctor. It can also be helpful if e-visits are available if you don’t feel comfortable going in person. You can also contact your insurance to see if they can send you a list of therapists and mental health providers that are covered under your plan. 

If you don’t have insurance, there can be programs available that offer low-cost or free care. This may include community mental health centers, local non-profits, government programs, medical schools, or other mental health care options near you. 

Local Groups / Online Groups

Thankfully, many moms have come together to support each other and have created spaces to talk about experiences and struggles that many go through. 

They offer advice, community, and a safe space to go to talk about both the good and the bad. 

Some groups even meet in person to do activities together, like walks, coffee trips, or workouts. 

These kinds of groups can be great if you are looking for that extra support and connection. 

However, if you think you may have postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, or any other mental health condition, it is important to reach out for professional help as well. 

SAMHSA Behavioral Health Treatment Locator

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration has a behavioral health treatment services locator that serves as a confidential source of information for individuals looking for help for substance use or mental health problems. 

You can visit their website and do some research to find different options that may fit your needs. 

Virtual Resources 

With the growing concern around mental health conditions, more virtual resources have become available. 

You can now find therapists online and get connected to talk to someone through your phone or computer. 

Resources like these make it more convenient, especially for busy moms, who want help but may not have the time or transportation to get it. 

The prices on these types of platforms can vary, but it is worth looking into. 

You Are Not Alone

If you get anything from this blog, I hope it is the importance of talking to someone, anyone. The importance of reaching out for support. 

One of the biggest things that helped me when I was a new mom was talking to other moms. Knowing that I wasn’t alone even if I sometimes felt like it. 

You are doing a great job.